Delivered by his cousin Michael at Hutcliff Wood Chapel, Sheffield, June 23rd, 2017.
Good afternoon, and thank you for coming to this short
service of remembrance for my cousin Barrie Lockwood. It falls to me as one of
his few surviving relatives to say a few words for Barrie, and I hope to be
worthy of that honour and to do justice to him.
As I said at
my mother’s a few years ago, funerals are for
the living, not the dead. They are for us to celebrate the life of the people we
liked and loved. This one is for my sister, who was his primary family contact
in these last few years and who visited him and gave him news and tried to keep
him in the land of the living. It’s for the care home staff, who looked after
him very well, and it’s for Aunty Eileen and Hazel and all the rest of us that
knew him in happier times.
Barrie Lockwood was born to Harold, a Sheffield steelmaker,
and Millicent, a homemaker and the daughter of a master gardener to the Leigh
family whose head was at one time the master cutler.
He was a Sheffield lad
and proud of it to the day he died, and loved the industrial history and even
the rough, coal-blackened and Victorian splendor of this industrial town. He
loved trams and trains and British cars, he liked gritstone architecture, brown
ale and brown trousers, and traditional Sheffield food. He lived a life based
on Sheffield values of family and hard work and a little fun now and then.
Barry was a bright boy, won a scholarship to King Edwards
when it was a grammar school, passed the civil service exam, and began a long
career in government, which culminated in his job as Clerk of Sheffield Crown
Court, a position that put him mentally and physically at the center of the
city and the region and at the center of regional events, specially criminal
ones. It was a fine career. Barrie was committed to British government and
making it work, especially to old-fashioned British government based on values
of reason and decency and plain common sense. Sometimes I think we could use a
few more like him today, and a few less of what we have. He took civil service
posts here after his father died to look after his mother, and retired early to
do more of that, and so lived with Millie, looking after each other at High
Storrs Close, until first she died and then he grew ill. Essentially, he lived
seventy years of an eighty-year life or more in the same house.
I loved Barrie as my mother’s cousin and as one of the
extended Watson clan, now dwindling, that once were much more common in the
Mayfield valley. I also liked him. He was fun to be around, both when I was a
small boy, and later when I would come home to visit him and Millie at High
Storrs. He was also a shoulder to rely on, especially at two particular times,
the first during the 1980s when he paid for my initial emigration to America
and so gave me the push that would eventually lead to university and an
academic career, to my wife Aimee and my daughter Edana whom some of you are
meeting for the first time today, assuming she will sit still. The second time
Barrie helped me greatly was when my parents had both begun to show signs of
dementia, and I was racked with pain and upset at losing them, or at least
losing them as I knew them, and Barrie helped me put it in perspective. I still
can’t quite put into words what a relief it was to sit and talk to an elderly relative
that still, almost to the end, had most of his marbles, when my Mum and Dad
were so clearly off their rocker and going beyond my reach. I know Carol feels
much the same way. Barrie was a kind and decent and helpful man.
Some particular memories of Barrie include he and my dad
Gordon teaching me to play three-card Brag at family parties. I would get a
little pocket money from dad, or earn money working for him in the chocolate
shop, and Barrie and dad would then relieve me of that money in fairly short
order, while I learned the intricacies of the game. It’s going to be hard to
explain to the younger generation just how much good clean family fun can be
had with just a pack of cards and a small stack of change and two close male
relatives intent on relieving you of your cash and teaching you not to be a
fool.
I’m not sure they succeeded, but we had fun trying.
Barrie and I were both in the RAF, as was Eileen’s husband
Ron. Ron was a Mosquito navigator in World War Two, Barrie was national
service in the fifties, and I was a regular in the late seventies and early
eighties, so we had that in common. I served at some of the same Vale of York airfields
that Barrie had seen twenty years earlier, and played three card brag in some
of the same crew rooms.
Barrie liked to talk of his RAF days. He always liked
British technology and those were the heydays of British jet flight. Barrie was
a clerk in the HQ of a Javelin squadron. Javelins were some of the first truly
modern jet fighters and well ahead of their time, and the squadron was led by
seasoned veterans of the war. The Soviets were the bad guys by then, and the
squadron was needed, and it must have been exciting to be a eighteen-year old
lad around all that. Later in life he developed a taste for fast cars, probably
related to this experience, and always had some souped-up British car parked
outside his house, which was exciting for me as a young lad.
He could talk. Boy, could that man talk, he said. Lapsing
into Americanisms. Conversations with Barrie were two, three, four hour
affairs. He never seemed to tire of it. But it was always entertaining, and
always witty, and always he’d kept up with the news and he knew what was going
on and had an interesting opinion and point of view on it all.
I could go on, but this is the new Britain and this chapel
and crematorium are run on what my American relatives call a tight schedule,
which Barrie never was, and so we had better move on, or we’ll keep the staff
from their Friday night relaxation. Barrie would most certainly NOT have wanted
to do that.
Barrie Lockwood is gone from us physically, but I will
always remember him as the bright and able and witty Sheffield lad he was, fun
to be around and good to talk to. I hope you will too.